Sekscontract info

Hier vind je een bundeling uitspraken,standpunten, achtergrondsmateriaal inzake het aangaan van seks en sekscontracten, al dan niet toestemming geven tot seksuele handelingen, voor- of tegen sekscontracten, enz. In de mate van het mogelijke worden de bronnen aangegeven maar soms waren ze niet meer te achterhalen.

Helaas bestaat er bijzonder weinig informatie in het Nederlands. Daarom bundelen we hieronder vooral een aantal Engelstalige artikelen, uitspraken en reacties omtrent sekscontracten.  Uiteraard zijn deze pagina's enkel ter informatie bedoeld en deelt de initiatiefnemer van deze website niet altijd de meningen van de auteurs.

Een grappig filmfragment over het ondertekenen van een contract vooraleer seks te hebben.


237. Dat is volgens een Amerikaans onderzoek namelijk de som van de verschillende redenen voor mensen waarom ze seks met een partner willen hebben.
Eerdere cijfers op dit vlak die in de vakliteratuur en de populaire pers circuleren waren bescheidener. Een bekend drie-factoren model somt de volgende redenen op: reproductie, lust en plezier, en het kwijtraken van opgebouwde seksuele spanning. Met dit kleine aantal hebben seksuologen het jarenlang moeten doen. Lees hier het integrale artikel


In de Verenigde Staten gaat niemand nog een langdurige relatie aan zonder een voorhuwelijkse overeenkomst of andere vorm van samenlevingscontract af te sluiten. Sex Contract speelt handig in op die trend, want wie zegt dat er in de slaapkamer ook geen addertjes onder het gras kunnen schuilen? Als u en uw partner op voorhand, én schriftelijk vastleggen of slikken, anaal en seksattributen al dan niet tot het repertoire behoren, kunnen beide partijen later niet voor verrassingen en/of teleurstellingen komen te staan.
You wouldn't get married without a prenuptial agreement or jump out of a plane without a parachute. So why have sex without a contract? This site makes it quick and easy to generate a sex consent form, detailing what you and your partner are willing, and not willing, to do. Read more

The practice of having prospective sex partners sign consent forms before things heat up may be a sign of the times. Ava Cadell, a Los Angeles-area sex therapist, and her attorney husband came up with the idea of a "sexual consent form."
In the wake of the Kobe Bryant rape case, some professional athletes have said they plan to ask their sexual partners to sign consent forms, according to Sports Illustrated.  Read more




Having a sex contract in your marriage. There are assumptions about what a person may expect or even want concerning sex. Most people commit to a marriage for life, without discussing their idea of what sex should be like in the marriage. There are assumptions about what a person may expect or even want concerning sex, but most couples don’t sit down and discuss it. Read more


Do you need a sex contract? Sex contracts don't just exist in Fifty Shades of Grey, sex therapist Amanda Robb explains why you should (or shouldn't) consider entering into one in real life. What exactly is a sex contract? How does it work? A sex contract is a form of agreement between a couple where both parties outline their sexual desires on paper. This can include the frequency of sex and sexual activities they would like to act out within the relationship. Does a sex contract always have to contain BDSM elements?
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How A '50 Shades'-Style Sexual Contract Can Lead To Better Sex Ever since Fifty Shades of Grey hit bookstores, women have been asking me questions about sexual contracts. Are they real? How do they work? After all, when you think about it, E. L. James' Fifty Shades of Grey is a 500+ page contract negotiation. In the book, "The Contract" is a proposal by a wealthy, gorgeous millionaire, Christian Grey, who is offering financial support, an unlimited clothing budget and ultimate sexual pleasure to Ana, a new journalism graduate, self-proclaimed klutz and sexually naïve woman. What can a sexual contract do for our sex life?

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See movie with experts about usinig sex contracts:|maing6|dl15|sec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D207622




How Sexual Contracts Can Create Great Sex Would you sign?  Ever since 50 Shades of Grey hit bookstores women have been asking me questions about sexual contracts.  Are they real?  How do they work? After all, when you think about it 50 Shades of Grey is a 500+ page contract negotiation.  “The Contract” is a proposal by a wealthy, gorgeous millionaire, Christian Grey, who is offering financial support, unlimited clothing budget and ultimate sexual pleasure to Ana, a new journalism graduate, self-proclaimed clutz and sexually naïve woman. 
In exchange, Christian is asking Ana to be his submissive for two days of every week. Submissiveness in this context means Ana would cater to Christian’s every whim without question.  If she doesn’t obey, he would have the right to ‘punish’ her with any method he chooses.  This sounds despicable to Ana until she learns that the punishment cannot include “emotional, physical or spiritual harm,” and there are mutually agreed-upon “safe words” that can slow down or stop any activity at any time.  She will be able to negotiate a whole list of sexual activities or punishments, deciding beforehand which acts she would consider trying and those she would never do.

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A Time Limit on Rape.  If a woman consents to having sex with a man but then during intercourse says no, and the man continues, is it rape?
The answer depends on where you live. The highest courts of seven states, including Connecticut and Kansas, have ruled that a woman may withdraw her consent at any time, and if the man doesn’t stop, he is committing rape. Illinois has become the first state to pass legislation giving a woman that right to change her mind. But in Maryland–as well as in North Carolina–when a woman says yes, she can’t take it back once sex has begun–or, at least, she can’t call the act rape.
Much of the fine detail in the case concerns what is a reasonable timeframe for complying with the request to stop during the act of sexual penetration, which is not an entirely unreasonable thing to debate. More unreasonable, and frankly offensive, is the idea expressed by the Maryland appellate court (in overturning an earlier guilty verdict hinging on withdrawal of consent) by describing their view of the “essence” of rape: once penetration has been consented to, whatever happens afterwards, consensual or not, can’t be called rape. Read more :



I think people need to draft up sex contracts. If you're just having a sexual relationship with someone, there should be rules and bylaws that they need to adhere to. Read more.




Sexcontract Would you sign one? Think about the things that go through your mind when you're about to sleep with someone for the first time. Perhaps you're wondering what he thinks of your body... Or deciding when to bring out the condom... Or even hoping your flatmate isn't in the next room... You're probably not thinking, "Before I climb into bed I should sign a contract to ensure my new lover won't be falsely accused of rape." But if some MPs and sex therapists have their way, this is just what should be crossing your mind. In 2008, independent MP Ann Bressington suggested introducing a legislative bill that would mean new couples would be made sign "sex contracts"......"It's not legally binding," says Annie Cossins, from the University of New South Wales' Faculty of Law. "In a criminal court, it is very unlikely it would be admissible as evidence." As far as protecting sportsmen, or any men, from being wrongly accused of sexual misconduct, Cossins believes it's unlikely it would work. "Judges wouldn't look on this favourably," she says. "Yes, they have to consider all evidence, and there is some chance it could be used against a woman in court by the prosecution, but I would say it is highly unlikely a form like this would get a man accused of rape off the hook... However, to be on the safe side, I would advise women never to sign one." It's also sending a strong message that women don't have the right to withdraw consent for sex unless they've written it down, says Cossins. "The law in Australia is clear: consent must be given for sex to occur and it can be withdrawn at any time. You do not need to sign anything."  Karen Willis, executive officer at the NSW Rape Crisis Centre, believes the contract fuels the idea that "sexual assault is a case of misunderstanding rather than a criminal act". She fears that if these contracts became standard practice the only people who would benefit are sex offenders.Read more



She suggested these contracts would ensure sex is consensual, as well as prevent men from being falsely accused of rape. Couples would sign the consent form in order to confirm they're both willing to have sex. The form would even specify the kind of foreplay or the type of kissing they both agree to. Read more.



Dear Mr. Self Development,I would love to have a lot more sex with my wife.  I believe the lack of sex creates tension in our marriage.  I must admit that I become less flexible because of her seeming lack of concern for sex.   I’m tired of hearing her say, “I have a headache.” Any advice would be appreciated. Larry
Answer :There is a solution to this dilemma, which I think will make both parties happy.  And that solution is….drum role please….Draw up a “Sex Contract.”A “Sex Contract” is an agreement between both parties as to the frequency of sex.  This allows for no negative surprises, while everyone’s expectations are met.  You can even hire a lawyer to draw up the terms of the agreement, I’m only kidding. Read more 



If Mel Feit had his way, such would be the come-on line of the `90s. The National Center for Men, a New York-based men`s rights organization of which Feit is executive director, is distributing a ``Consensual Sex Contract`` for couples to sign before becoming intimate.
The contract outlines the parties` specific intentions in the relationship: ``We want to have a relationship that may lead to sexual intercourse.`` Or, ``We want to have sex but without intercourse.``
It also states that if an unwanted pregnancy occurs, ``neither one of us will try to force the other into parenthood.``
And it states that neither party can claim to be the victim of sexual harassment, assault or rape ``as a result of the acts which are the subject of this agreement.``
The contract is intended to protect men from false accusations of rape and from the financial responsibility for supporting a child who might be born of a sexual encounter, according to Feit. Read more




Did the Sexual Offences Act 2003 change your sex life? Probably not — and, according to the Home Office, that’s just the problem. An official awareness campaign begins tomorrow telling men to make sure that their partner has consented to sex, or they could risk being accused of rape. The £500,000 campaign will kick off with radio adverts and move on next week to magazine ads, posters in men’s toilets and stickers on condom machines.
The Home Office is concerned that the public is confused about the Sexual Offences Act. In a nutshell, the Act says that the defendant in a rape trial must show that he took reasonable steps to ensure that the woman gave consent.  Read more




My man wants a sex contract ? I have been with my partner for two years and we are talking about getting married. But he says he won’t commit himself to me (or anyone) unless there’s a firm deal in place about how often we make love. His marriage and last relationship ended because both women lost interest in sex. He says he wants an undertaking that we would have sex at least twice a week, unless one of us is ill or away. I hate the idea of sex becoming a duty rather than a pleasure. Shouldn’t love be unconditional?  Read more






Love me? Then let's work out a sex contract. As bizarre as it sounds, some couples do make deals when it comes to sexual relationships. Though this kind of contract seems clinical and would undoubtedly take the romance out of your bonding, some people find it a useful tool for self-protection. 'This Western concept is gradually finding place among urban Indians. Though it hasn't become a trend yet, couples are now open to discussions on this,' says Dr Dwivedi. The idea is to make prospective sex partners sign a legal consent form before entering into sexual relationship. This acts as a smart tool of refuting allegations of sexual misconduct later by one's partner. At other times it can be signed between married couples whereby they decide to make love on a periodic basis. This is mostly done to reignite their sexual life if either of the spouses feels sexually deprived. However, experts fear that such clinical deals can only put added pressure on the partner. 'If a married couple is considering a sex contract, it indicates that something is already wrong in their relationship. It's the cause that needs to be addressed. Such contracts can ever fill the emptiness and rift between two people,' says Dr Dwivedi. Read more







Sexual Assault is a devastating crime that has tremendous impacts on the United States Army. We must work together as a team to prevent one of our own from becoming a victim. This prevention is a two pronged effort. Watch out for yourself: It is the responsibility of each and every Soldier to educate themselves about the dangers of sexual assault. We must avoid situations where we are vulnerable. Here are some tips:

1. Use the buddy system. There is safety in numbers.
2. Don’t drink to excess. Consuming large amounts of alcohol means losing control. This will put you at greater risk.
3. Never get in a car with someone you don’t know.
4. Make sure at least one person always knows where, when and who you will be with, especially if you are leaving earlier than planned.
5. Stay away from secluded locations unless you are with someone you know and trust.

Watch out for each other: It is the responsibility of every Soldier to protect their fellow Soldiers and to uphold the Army standards of dignity and self-respect. If you see a fellow Soldier in trouble – intervene! If you see a fellow Soldier take undue risks – speak up! Soldiers of every rank must have absolute trust and confidence in each other. We demand it in combat, but we should expect it always. Finally, to reduce a Soldier’s risk of harming someone else through a misunderstanding about sex, remember:

1. Alcohol impairs perception: Don’t drink to excess or you may misunderstand signals.
2. A Soldier may be too drunk or incapacitated to consent, no matter what they say.
3. Never assume consent: always be clear about consent from both parties. I suggest having a pre-printed consensual sex contract and notary public available in any location in which sexual contact is about to take place!
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In 1991, on the Oprah Winfrey Show, The National Center For Men was ahead of its time by challenging emerging sexual harassment law. We demonstrated how these laws were often used to punish men for the expression of opinion. Our Consensual Sex Contract debuted on the Maury Povich Show a few years later and was then featured in numerous magazine articles and hundreds of radio and television programs, including the Today show, A Current Affair and Jerry Springer. Our Sex Contract raised the public's awareness about how innocent men could be destroyed by false accusations of sex crime. It made headlines in newspapers around the world, including the London Times and USA Today. Read more








Many couples make an agreement to protect their feelings—not necessarily their health. A lot of couples view sex as a physical desire, expression, or outlet and not an emotional intimacy. You can protect your intimate connection with a primary partner by communicating up front about whether you’re in a monogamous, open, or “monogamish” relationship. Be honest with yourself about what you want. If you wanna go out and hook-up from time-to-time, tell your partner – it doesn’t matter if they’re male or female (or) this goes for all types of LGBT relationships . If she can’t accept it, now’s the time to figure that out. Maybe he always wants to be there and you pickup the guy together? Add it to your plan and make it work. Sit down and talk. Write out your plan. (After all, plans worthy of being laid to paper are often most effective.) Get creative, make it into a poster, use some crazy fonts, textures & photos to keep it fun. Print it out. Hang it in the bathroom or frame it on the wall in your bedroom! Read more







Many Intimacy Anorexics withhold sex from their partner. They do it on purpose. Sometimes it is the man, sometimes it is both, but most

often it is the woman. Disagreements and frustrations over sex are so common in relationships that they are almost cliche. Although the nature of these frustrations can vary greatly, I want to focus on just the most basic complaint – the lack of sex.  So, how do you design a system to create more regular, relational, enjoyable sex between a couple? One way is the Sexual Agreement. It works like this…

First, both couples have to agree that they at least want to try to be sexual with each other on a regular basis, regardless of what their feelings are at the moment.  Keep in mind that your partner may be more married to his or her anorexia than they are to you. When you start this sexual agreement you will see how committed they are to their withholding. This sexual agreement will only have maximum benefit if there is no porn in the relationship, so if one partner depends on this, it will have to go. If this seems very difficult or impossible there may be a legitimate addiction present. Read more




Sex Secret: My Husband and I Made a Sex Contract . After the birth of our first child, my libido plummeted. Things went from bad to worse in my relationship, and my husband was accusing me of abandoning him. So I made a sex agreement: Twice a week, I’d do it, whether I felt like it or not. Read more


50 Shades Highlights the Benefits of a Sex Contract.  There are definite pros to using a sex contract, whether you’re just becoming intimate or if you’ve been married for several years. First of all, it creates a safe zone. Whether it’s outlining something as simple as oral sex or delving as deep as sadomasochism, defined limits let you and your partner know what is and is not allowed. This can head off awkward moments of rejection later. Read more


Signed, sealed, quivered: Is it right to draw up a prenup sex contract?  Forget the prenup as you know it. The bedroom matters more than the bank account these days so could a sex contract save your relationship?  Some Americans have gone legal to protect their sex lives. Stephanie Rabiner, a lawyer based in San Francisco, says: ‘Prenuptial agreements have recently expanded to include chore agreements and clauses involving the nasty in-laws. Some also include sex.’ Read more



I think people need to draft up sex contracts. It would make everything so much more simpler. If you're just having a sexual relationsship with someone, there should be rules and bylaws that they need to adhere to. People go into a friendship, and think if they f*ck him just right he would magically fall in love and make babies and all that shit. Read more


Sex Contract Shares Intimate Knowledge.Document Allows Couples To Declare Their Intentions And Protect Themselves`Would you like to come back to my place for a drink? I`d love to show you my etchings and introduce you to my attorney.``
If Mel Feit had his way, such would be the come-on line of the `90s. The National Center for Men, a New York-based men`s rights organization of which Feit is executive director, is distributing a ``Consensual Sex Contract`` for couples to sign before becoming intimate. Read more